Discouraged and Generally Unhappy.

I'm sick...again. Story of my life.

My stuffy head induced a migraine yesterday. I woke up with a stuffed up head induced migraine again today.  Isn't being sick bad enough without having to endure migraines?

I wish I could do this with my brain during a migraine.

I'm not sure if I'll ever feel better. Realistically, I know this is not true. I will eventually, but right now, I'm stuck in the "I don't feel good/I think I'm dying" slump that occurs approximately four days into any illness. I'm discouraged and just generally unhappy.

 I don't feel like doing anything, which brings me to my next point...

My cottage is a complete wreck. There are clothes that need folded and hung, the floor needs a good sweeping. The loo needs polished. The clean sheets need put on the bed. The dishes need washed. These things are driving me mad, and I can't relax in this chaos.

I know I shouldn't concern myself with things that aren't necessarily important at the moment, but I have Obsessive Compulsive Disorder.

Have we met?

So I was unable to do anything today. I hate unproductive days. It's not the way I want to spend any moment, especially Friday night.

I would have spent it at my desk if I weren't sick. That's how us writers roll.

This actually makes me sad.

This makes me even more sad.

I don't want my husband to catch it, but the man insists on sitting two inches or less away from me where I can breathe on him. How does he expect not to catch it?

How my husband feels about me when I'm sick.

If my husband catches it, he will be more melodramatic about being sick than I am.

I still think he's asking for it. 

Actually, the main reason I don't want my husband to get sick is because he would still have to go to work, where as I work from home. I have unlimited sick days. He has two, maybe more, maybe less. I have the luxury of taking time off as needed. He does not. So I'm really hoping he doesn't get sick.

I feel worse than awful, horrible, and terrible combined. I will use gifs instead of real pictures to depict how my day has been. (Real pictures of me would scare people.)

I tried to get out of bed, but I didn't quite make it.

I couldn't taste my coffee, not that I would want to if the ingredient in this gif was really added.

I plowed through an entire box of tissues.

I made funny faces when the urge to sneeze hit me.

I speculated as to what was wrong with me.

I didn't really google my symptoms. This gif made me giggle. Maybe I do have network connectivity problems. *shrugs*

I laid around looking pathetic...

Whilst trying to breathe.

I realized that I've taken being able to breathe through my nose for granted.

I managed to eat something, but I couldn't taste it, so I don't know if it was good or not.

My husband tried to take care of me.

I was less than thrilled only because I don't want him to catch it.

He wasn't thrilled with my reaction.

I actually told him to go watch television until he had to leave.

I think I'm going to go lie down on the couch and try to watch a movie.

I have a feeling I won't really see any of the movie I select.

Okay, so I posted a blog, which means I was not completely unproductive today. Oddly enough, this has cheered me up a bit. Now to go watch that movie. (See last two gifs above.)

I hope your Friday is going better than mine.

Cheers?

It's Been A Long Time...

It's been so long since I posted a blog. I feel like I owe everyone an apology. I'm sure some of you wondered if I was still blogging here. But I'm back, and I'm sorry for being absent for such a long time, and I hope each of you are doing well.

There's not a whole lot of new going on at Chateau De Townsend. We did get a few new things, like a washer and dryer. The dryer was free, courtesy of Aunt Freda and Uncle Bill, and the washer was a very good price. I'm chuffed to bits to be able to do laundry again! It's such a blessing! I'm able to sit on my couch and fold clothes! No more trips to the laundromat!

Doug also bought me a Keurig. We found one at a good price, and I've been enjoying Italian Roast Coffee in my KEEP CALM AND CARRY ON London Flag mug, and my THANK GOD FOR GIRLFRIENDS mug that's pink with high heels on it that Jodi got for me for Christmas! It's such a blessing having a Keurig, too. I like my coffee au lait, and I actually sit and enjoy it, unlike the prepackaged bottles of vanilla frappy I used to drink.

Doug became the same age as me in June.

I'm up to twenty-two books now. I've never had writer's block, but I have writer's tackle. *groan* Sorry. I can't take credit for that. One of my doctor friends came up with the whole "writer's tackle" thing. *lol*

I started a new blog, but I'm not leaving this one. It's a blog composed of short stories that are inspired by dreams...well nightmares I've had. You can check it out by clicking here. The stories are both written in the first person and they are sort of from the horror genre, not supernatural ghosts and vampires, and emo girls who date them, or werewolves, or Frankenstein's monster and his family. They are about real things that could happen. So perhaps realistic horror. *shrugs* I don't know. Read them with caution. That's all I ask.

I've been sick. Story of my life, I know. I went on a trip and brought bronchitis back as a souvenir. I was nice enough to give it to Doug. He's doing much better now, but he was really sick. Unfortunately, I still don't feel well. Again, story of my life. So things around here have looked like this:





I wouldn't use real pics of us sick. That would give people nightmares! *lol*

My father-in-law went into the hospital while I was out of town. He seems to do that a lot. It's almost like he knows! "Hey, Shellye and/or Shellye and Doug are out of town. Time for me to get sick and go to the hospital!" He actually improved for a short period of time. To give you a little background, two days after Father's Day, my father-in-law pulled out his trache. The staff at the nursing home noticed that he was breathing on his own without the trache and the "breathing machine that was apparently not a ventilator". And he lived without it until the third day of my trip. He was talking and everything. I don't know if he ever got to eat by mouth during the time that the trache was out, and I assume that my mother-in-law would have said so if he had, but now the trache and the ventilator are back in place, and he was finally sent to Cornerstone, in St. Mary's Hospital. He's usually at CHH. Unfortunately, he can only stay there until September 1st, and if he's not weaned off of the ventilator, he will have to be shipped to a facility two hours away. *sighs* I really hope that doesn't happen.

On the second day of my trip out of town, Doug was in a car accident in the company car. He was unharmed. He was making a left hand turn, and a guy sped past another car and hit him as he was turning. The guy was speeding, but that's okay for him to do apparently because according to the police report, it was Doug's fault. No mention of the speeding was on the report of course. But ultimately, what the report is saying is that my husband is powerful enough to cause someone to speed past another car and hit him. He had plenty of time and room to turn until the car came flying around the other car and hit him. *shrugs* So we're going to be broke for a while because Doug has to pay the $1,000 deductible, which means he will be paying the company to work there for a while. We're both concerned that his job is in jeopardy. Since the accident, he has been stuck at the shop all day. And if they do put him back on the road, and he's the victim of someone else's stupidity behind the wheel, he will automatically be sacked.

I lost a few people who I thought were my friends along the way.









One of them I have made amends with, but it will never be the same. The other one was no big loss. I hate to be that way, but she has hurt me before. I knew that I didn't need her or her drama in my life. Unfortunately, that doesn't change the fact that it still hurts. I was there when she had nobody. But that doesn't matter. She actually told me that I was going to have nobody but my fictional characters and that I would die cold and alone. Maybe she's right. Just maybe. With friends like that, why should I want non-fictional people in my life?
























There's rarely any real loyalty in this world anymore. Loyalty is becoming extinct. That's why the whole "us four and no more" principle exists. People get hurt. They make the mistake of thinking they have people who love them and care about them in their lives.



I have several really good friends, one I've known for eighteen years, and one I've know for sixteen, and several that I've known for almost ten years. I've even had one person really surprise me by being a friend, and let me tell you, she is a hidden treasure. I don't know what I would have done without her this past year.

Anyway, I'm not going to name names or rehash the situation, but I am going to share my feelings because it is my blog and I can. And once I have shared these, I'm going to belt up about it and move on.





Below are the things I wanted to say...














And now I will move on.

The truth is...



It's difficult to forget anything with my eidetic memory, but like the quote says that I shared on my fan page yesterday:

"When your past calls, don't answer. It has nothing new to say."

True story.

Maybe some of the pictures were a little mean, but I've been pushed too far. As John Pinnette would say, "I lost my cherub like demeanor." It doesn't mean that I don't love the people who have really stood by me, because I do. I'm just hurt by what the fake friends have done to me, and I have every right to be hurt. Am I going to stay there? No. I'll get over it.

I am contemplating whether or not I have room for new people in my life in light of everything that's happened. I just don't want to invest my time and my whole self into something that isn't going to last. If someone can wad up the friendship after ten years (give or take), and almost throw it away in a fit of anger over something so beyond the valley of asinine, is a twenty, or thirty, or forty year friendship really and truly stable? The answer is no. Nothing is stable. That's why you have to be careful.

Here's some helpful tips for a happier life.

• Don't share anything you don't want shared with the world. Secrets aren't really secret.
• Never vent to anyone. If you're having a problem, find a someone with a solution, or ask Google.
• Get rid of the drama lovers. Those who love drama love to drag the innocent bystanders around them into the middle of it. It's like a Broadway production to them. They don't care who gets hurt in the process as long as the world revolves around them.
• Never let someone stay in your home for more than three days. They will use up all of your things and drain you of every cent you have, and never replace what they've used or apologize for it.
• Don't get angry with your family. They have to love you, but they don't have to like you.
• If you want something done right, do it yourself. If you want something done right now. You have to do it yourself.
• If you make a promise, keep it. If you make an appointment, keep it. If you make a commitment, keep it. It is better not to make a vow than to break a vow.
• Feelings are temporary, even love. They say that love conquers all, but even love isn't enough.
• Unforgiveness is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die. Forgive. It may take a while, but it's worth it, not for them but for you.
• Forgiving is one thing, but forgetting is another. Don't forget what you've been through so you won't make the same mistake over and over. Original mistakes only.

And that concludes this post! Doug is on his way home, and I'm going to find something to munch.

Have a great day, everyone!