Confessions of a Redhead: It's December...

It doesn't feel like December. There might be Christmas lights on houses and Christmas trees in windows, but it does not feel like December. The forecast is in the upper forties and low to mid fifties with...you guessed it, rain. Oh goody! We had a rainy fall. Now we're going to have a rainy winter.

I'm a pluviophile, but this is getting ridculous.

This means it's going to snow the first week of April, probably on my birthday or even on Easter. (I think Easter falls on my birthday this year. That hasn't happened since I was in my ninth year.)

It's obviously too much to ask that we have winter in December, January, and February, Spring in March, April, and May, Summer (I could care less if Summer never showed its ugly face again) should stay in June, July, and August, and Fall in September, October, and November. I just want a white Christmas, but I'm asking for too much. I always ask for too much.

What winter should look like...

So it's December. Last year, we had sixty and seventy degree days. It just doesn't feel like Christmas is on its way when it's sixty or seventy degrees...

Is it? Is it really?

Christmas: Expectation.

Christmas: Reality.

Despite the fact that the weather is not indicative of what Christmas weather should be, it's nice to see all of the lights on houses and in cities, save for the city in which I live. Apparently the city officials don't believe in Christmas lights. Maybe the city is too broke to put up lights. There's a Christmas tree made of lights in one downtown shopping area, and that's about as festive as it gets. One year, they had one sad little garland strung across 8th Street, and the lights on it didn't even work! But the city where my husband works, their decorations are always really nice. They go all out. It looks like Christmas exploded!

It's also nice to see the decorations in the houses of my loved ones, and the store displays when I have to go shopping for things I need.

There's a certain store, I won't say which one, that did a lousy job of decorating this year. Their angel tree isn't even decorated! It's just a sad looking little tree with papers hanging on it. Seriously? You can't do that for the needy families?

It needs someone to care enough to DECORATE IT!

I'll get back to Christmas in a moment. I need to discuss the events and happenings of yesterday.

Yesterday, I woke with my 12:30 PM alarm. I know that's sad. I sleep in a lot, but it's because I'm an insomniac workaholic coffee addict. I don't like sleeping past 12:30, no matter how late I was up the night before. My husband ususally sends me a text message around 12:30, so the first thing I do upon waking each weekday is have a dekko at my phone. There was a text message. I just assumed it was from my husband. I opened it and read and reread it several times.

Before I continue, the text was news that my uncle on my mother's side had died. (He married my mother's oldest sister.) He had some health issues that ultimately caused heart failure. I didn't know him real well. I got to see him three times in my life. Once was the Christmas right before my parents divorced. The second time was in 1995 when the family came down to visit. The third time was in 2000, when my grandmother passed away.

Here's the thing. My uncle shared the same first name as my father-in-law. This is the message I received from my mother yesterday: John died at 10:50 today.

I stared at the message and I started to panic. I almost responded with, "No he didn't. He died between 9:30 and 10:00 on February 22nd." Then another horrible thought hit me, and I felt like I was in a story from Dormiveglia: "What if I dreamed everything from February 21st on, and I woke up and it was only February 22nd, 2014?"

I finally became coherent enough to realize what was actually happening and I responded accordingly. For five minutes, I was freaking out. Please pray for my aunt and her daughter, son, and daughter-in-law as they walk through the grieving process.

I also had to socialize yesterday. It wasn't so bad. Dinner was great. I was told that I was beautiful by two very kind women who are even more so. I just never know what to say. I've become more of an introvert ever since I became a writer. I find it difficult to interact with nonfictional characters. I actually have to exchange words with them. Unfortunately most of my activities and stories are fictional. If anyone asks what I did today, all I can respond with is "Worked." I can't say something like, "I went to a service at a fictional church Living Waters Cathedral, where my fictional character, Pastor Paul preached an awesome message, and on a night when church services don't usually take place." Or "I witnessed my fictional character, Zephra deal with the challenge that is her youngest daughter who is three going on terrible teenage years." Or "I got to spend some time with fictional republican President Black and his family on Election night." Because if you say things like that, the person with whom you're conversing is going to label you as clinically insane, and perhaps call some men in little white coats to take you somewhere and evaluate you. (I'm fairly sure, "I'm a fictional author," would not serve as a good excuse. Then comes the straight jacket...) So yeah. I'm a writer. Other than my stories, I have nothing conversation worthy to share with anyone. *shrugs* But I look great on paper.

Does anyone have anything going on for the holidays? My husband and I are not doing any Christmas shopping this year. I asked for one thing: an iPhone. Why? Because I will NEVER EVER EVER own another piece of crap Android phone!!!! The last three Android phones I had have been nothing but complete rubbish! My husband insists that if I had a "good" Android phone, it would work, but I don't think the manufacturer makes any "good" Android phones. NEVER AGAIN! Even my Kindle Fire HD, which is an Android product, doesn't work properly. (Imagine that!) I'm over Android. Every single time I have complained on Facebook, everyone has responded with "Get an iPhone. I love my iPhone and I never have any problems with it." So that is all I've asked for this year. I have no idea what I'm getting Doug or any of my loved ones. Probably cash/gift cards. I give out homemade chex mix and try to get one other gift. This year, I don't want to set foot in a mall.

I've become quite ambivalent about the holidays. They're all too commercialized. It's all about making money. The meaning gets lost amongst the sales advertisements, department store commercials, and toy commercials that tell everyone to BUY BUY BUY with money they don't even have to spend. Kids beg their parents for the latest toy, and then the media puts out new toys and gadgets just to get the children to keep begging. It's sad. (There's only one commercial I like, and it's the Hershey's Kisses commercial that plays the little song.) What happened to the meaning and the message?

I cherish everything my loved ones get for me, because they spent time and money selecting it or making it. There's a lack of appreciation for things we already have. Why do we need more things if we can't appreciate the things we already have? Whatever your family/friends/loved ones took the time to get for you this year, you should appreciate it. They braved the horrible crowds in the mall and spent money on you, or they took the time to make whatever it is they hand crafted for you. Don't take that for granted.

I remember when the holidays were a time for magic and miracles and family gatherings, and there was no Prozac or Xanax involved, and Christmas was always white, and miracles were around every corner, and nobody took anything for granted. Can somebody please tell me what happened?

A few people have private messaged me on various social networking sites and asked me why I haven't weighed in on the whole Ferguson thing.

It's not that I don't care, I just don't want to contribute to the nonsense that's happening in Ferguson. It's bad enough without my opinion on the subject matter. I don't want to contribute to the race war by speculating on the event that took place between the police officer and the young man. I wasn't there. I don't know what happened. It's not fair of me to speculate on anything that took place when I didn't witness it with my own eyes. I think it is sad that another young life was lost. I feel badly for his family. They will spend their holidays grieving. I really don't understand how looting serves to honor the memory of the young man. That's all I will say on the subject of Ferguson.

In conclusion, I will leave you with some Christmas gifs (yes there was a pun intended) that make me feel the holiday spirit.