Changes.

I cannot believe March 27th was my last blog post. I used to keep up with my blog fairly often, but things have been crazy busy with me and mine.

Things have changed so much since my last blog post that I haven't had a proper and sufficient amount of time to adjust to everything. Before I share all of the events and happenings in my life...

And an early Happy Fourth of July! Here are some fireworks for you!

Happy Birthday America!

Time is really flying by at an alarming rate! I wish there was a way to slow it down. One minute it was my birthday, and the next it's July!

I can't believe it's July 4th weekend!

I'm exhausted and unable to focus today so I thought I'd compose a blog post.

This is how I feel 99% of the time.

Other than the trip to Washington DC and the brief visit to Delaware to see my mother and Arlene, March was fairly uneventful, so we'll move on to April. In April, I celebrated my 3?th birthday. My birthday also fell on Easter Sunday this year. That hasn't happened since my ninth year, so it was pretty cool. We didn't do anything special. I was exhausted, which is the story of my life. I ended up taking a nap around 6:30 PM. I told Doug not to wake me until 8:30 PM. The plan was to wake up, eat something, have a glass of Moscato, and watch a movie. Unfortunately several serious acts of drama occurred, which I do not feel like rehashing. They didn't involve us directly, but there were phone calls and text messages, so I didn't get to do what I wanted to do until after midnight. The result of one act of drama ended up changing my life and Doug's entirely.

Five days after I turned a year older, Doug and I became parents to a twenty year old young man. I know some of you are thinking maybe I got knocked up in high school and gave the baby up for adoption, and the kid tracked me down, but that's not the case.

We had planned to wait a little longer to become parents...

We've been involved in this boy's life since he was seven, and his mother has referred to us as his honorary parents. Now we're full time honorary parents. It's a bit of a long story, but it's my blog, and therefore I'm just going to be honest.

We have been supporting our honorary son since late February/early March. This young man's stepfather was starving him and verbally abusing him because he couldn't find a job.

 

The stepfather is a very sucky person.

The kid had a job that offered sporadic hours, but this greedy stepfather wanted money, and the boy was trying. I took him to put in applications, and to interviews over the past three years. I also redid his resume for him right before he graduated high school. This economy is bad. When I was job hunting, I had one interview in three years! That's why I started writing full time. I couldn't find a thing, even with my knowledge and experience. I know it's not the kid's fault. His stepfather, who desperately wanted him to get a job, denied him internet access. Most potential employers require potential employees to fill out an online application. This man took away my honorary son's ability to search for and to apply for jobs, yet he called him a lazy freeloader. When our honorary son stayed with us to watch our cats while we were in DC, he used our internet to apply for jobs. Does that sound like a lazy freeloader?

Like it's that easy...

Our honorary son had nowhere to go. His mother isn't in a position to take him in. After my year and a half of being homeless, I wasn't about to let that happen to him, so Doug and I agreed to taking him in. At the time, we lived in a three room cottage, which was a kitchen, a living room, a bedroom, and a loo, and it immediately turned into a three room cottage, which was a kitchen, a bedroom, a bedroom, and a loo. Since I didn't have an actual office outside of our bedroom, I could no longer work on my book series or Insomnia, which was supposed to be released on May 31st.

At this point, I was calling everyone I could think of to help him find a job and a place of his own, but the government is useless and offered absolutely no help. They would have just sent him to the city mission. I've been to a city mission before. Thankfully I lived in a small town, and there was no one else there, so I didn't have to worry about anyone bothering me or my stuff. I've heard stories about the city mission here in the city where I currently reside from people who stayed there. Other residents stole their things, and they had curfews, and lousy food. Doug and I couldn't let our honorary son go there. So our family grew, which meant we would have to find a bigger house.

House hunting was not as successful as I expected it to be. Doug and I discussed how much rent we wanted to pay and the search was on. We found many prospective homes. One of them was perfect, but they only accepted one pet, and I wasn't about to choose who would go, Trinity or Moo Bear, so that was out. Many of the places we called did not accept pets, so we looked into purchasing a home. I didn't really want to buy a house here, because we don't plan on living in this state for the rest of our lives. I want to move closer to my family, but at the time, it looked like we were going to have to purchase a house in order to keep our cats. Moo Bear has been with me all but six months of his life. He's 16 and a half years old. He's on Enalapril (beta blocker) and Furosemide (diuretic). Trinity will be eight years old next month. I couldn't just get rid of them. They're not my pets. They're family.

I looked on Zillow for houses. I did look at houses for rent first, but that was a joke and a half. We found four houses that were in our price range, one that wasn't, and I contacted real estate agent on a house that Doug and I thought was perfect. It was in our price range, and it was two stories, had three bedrooms, and one and a half baths. I just wanted to LOOK AT the house, but the real estate agent insisted that I call some woman at the bank for financing information. I argued with her for ten minutes, telling her that I wanted to look at the house first before I made a decision about purchasing it. If it was falling apart or full of vermin, my answer was obviously going to be no, but she reiterated that I had to call the woman at the bank to discuss financing, and I told her that this wasn't going to work and hung up on her. Buying a house was now on our Anti-Bucket list. (It rhymes with bucket, I can tell you that.)

Just when I thought we were going to be crowded into a small cottage for the rest of our lives and that my career as an author was over...

Someone who had a house for rent that we had contacted actually contacted us. As if that wasn't awesome enough, pets were accepted! Doug and I met the landlord to look at the house. At first, we weren't sure it was going to work. It had been listed as a four bedroom, one and a half bath, but all we saw were two bedrooms and one bath, until the landlord said, "Check out the downstairs." We went down the steps and found the other two bedrooms and the half bath. We immediately decided to take it, which was a good idea, since only one other potential landlord contacted us. When we get everything unpacked, I'll post a blog with pictures. I have some of my new office, but they're on my phone and I'm on my lappy.

I was able to return to work once my office was set up. I'm happy to announce that Insomnia will be released Fall of 2015! I was so depressed and felt like I was dying during the time I was unable to work. Only other authors/writers would understand why. During the two and a half months I was unable to work, I learned something, or perhaps I presumed it rather than learned it. Everyone needs to have a purpose. As long as we have a purpose, we will wake up and see another day. I survived, but I wasn't a happy person. How I didn't just yell and scream at everyone with whom I interacted is beyond me.

I was so happy to get back to work!

So aside from becoming a parent and moving to a new and bigger house, there are other changes that resulted from having our honorary son coming to live with us. He's severely allergic to peanuts, which means I can't have a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and plain chips for dinner. Comfort food is a staple during the warm months for me, because I have Reverse Seasonal Affective Disorder. I get depressed during spring and summer. Nobody takes that seriously, because "that's not possible." Come and ambulate in my shoes and you'll see I'm being honest. Also, I'm never alone, which is good, because if I have a migraine and can't get out of bed, I have someone who can help me and look after me while Doug's at work. If a giant wasp or other scary insect shows up, instead of shutting off the room and leaving to go panic in a safe room, I have someone who can defeat it for me. But the best part of being a parent to my honorary son is that I have someone who loves me and thinks I'm awesome, even though I know I'm nowhere near as awesome as he thinks I am. (When he meets my mother, I'll become chopped liver. He doesn't believe me, but it's true.)

In other news...

We've had a few problems with the new house. For starters, I hate, abhor, and detest the kitchen. It's deplorable. It's just an ugly color, and it's about as small as the kitchen was in the cottage, only slightly longer. The light fixture needs repaired in there, but the handy man just had surgery, so Doug's probably going to have to do it himself. We also haven't set up the kitchen because the landlord gave us two fridges that didn't work properly. He finally broke down and got a new one. The former tenants took the fridge and stove when they vacated the premises.

The deck is unsafe for anyone to step on. The holes between the boards are large enough for me to simply slip through. The former tenants of the house trashed it, but the deck got the worst of it. They had animals tied up out there, and the dog house and leashes and stuff like that are still on the deck, but it's not safe for anyone to go remove those things. Once those things get repaired, all will be right with the world. Until then...

The good news is that the washer and dryer are now in a separate room! They were in the cottage kitchen before. Also, we have a dining room! I love dining rooms. There are some people who don't, but I like the idea of the dining table being in another room by itself. It's not a huge dining room, but there are three of us. That's not all, we have an actual wood burning fireplace! I may be doing a lot of writing in front of a roaring fire this winter. (I can't wait for fall and winter now!) We'll have to hire a chimney sweep to make sure it's cleaned and usable. It's difficult to say whether or not the former tenants trashed it. Stockings can be hung by the chimney this coming Christmas! (And not that I believe in Santa, but now he can actually come down the chimney and deliver gifts! *LOL*)

Not only did the space and the fireplace entice Doug, we also have our own carport and driveway! When we lived at the cottage, we had to fight for parking. Most of the time we lost, so we would have to walk a long way from the car to the cottage. It got ridiculous. We also had neighbors who refused to use their driveway. They would park one of their cars on the street and they would leave nasty notes on our car telling us that we had no right to park there when it was a public street! *smh* Thankfully I never found any of the notes, or I would have marched over there and it would not have been pretty. I also would have called the police and asked them to please tell our hateful neighbors that it's a public street and anyone with a car could park there.

I'm starting to fall in love with the house. The problem is that I loved the cottage so much that I don't know if I can give this house the love it deserves. Still, it's nice to have space, a fireplace, a dining room, an office, and our own carport and driveway. I'm not complaining. It's just that the cottage was where I published Dormiveglia, my first published book. I had hoped it would become my office where I would go and write when Doug and I visited family here, once we move somewhere else. Our landlady was awesome too. She's in her nineties and as sharp as a tack! (I want to be like that when I'm her age!) I should give my new landlord a chance. I don't know him yet. I'm just not much of a nonfictional people person.

Now that I'm finished talking about the huge changes in our lives, I need to stop and share some sad events that have taken place along the way.

On Good Friday (April 3rd), Doug's aunt (my aunt-in-law) Jo Kimble passed away. She was 86 years old. I'm not exactly sure of her cause of death, but she simply got sick and died. She still had her wits about her, which was awesome. I've seen and heard of too many people dying from dementia, and I hate it! I could listen to Jo talk all day. She had this amazing life. She got to see the world change dramatically before her very eyes as she grew up. She got to witness the birth of technology. Jo is with her husband George now, and while I'm thrilled to know that, I'm also still sad. She left her possessions to her family in her will, including me and Doug. She left us her van. We were not expecting that. I was under the impression that she was going to sell it, but we now have her van. I have a difficult time thinking about it as our van. To me, it's still her van. I cried the first time I drove it. While I'm thankful that we have a second vehicle, I'd rather have her here instead, but I know she's in a better place with her husband.

On May 19th, one of my new found loved ones that Doug and I had the privilege of meeting when we went to Washington DC, Mark Vandersluis passed away. He was 51. We found out that he was battling cancer during our visit. Mark was this amazing person. He was eighties music video cool. He was bright, and colourful, and funny, and intelligent, and random. He was devoted to his wife, his mother-in-law, and his church. I'm so glad I got the chance to meet him. Please pray for his wife, Amie, his mother-in-law, Charlene (he called her Charlie), his step-daughters, and the rest of his family, friends, and loved ones.

Now we'll move on to happier news. Doug and I had the most spectacular weekend last weekend. My niece Zoey, who was born on Doug's birthday last year, turned one this past Saturday! We were able to go to her birthday party and we visited my brother and sister-in-law. We got to spend time with them and our adorable niece and nephew.

Pauly is four now. He's gorgeous, and he's really well behaved too. He reminds me of my brother, but he's starting to look a lot more like my sister-in-law. (This is mostly his facial features.) He has my brother's hands (they're eerily identical), his build, and his facial expressions. And some of the things he does is like going back in time and watching my brother do them all over again. He's such a sweetheart!

Zoey is a lot louder and more opinionated than her big brother. We have no idea who she looks like yet, but she's beautiful. In some pictures, I see my sister-in-law. In others, I see my brother. This will continue to change until she's five or six I'm sure. She's definitely got my brother's face shape and eye colour. The jury is still out on whose nose she inherited. It might be my brother's. (Pauly's nose looks more like my sister-in-law's these days, but when he was smaller, he was an exact replica of my brother.)

While we were there, we went to the pool. The kids had a spectacular time. Doug did too. He would live in the water if he could. He got sunburned despite putting on sunscreen. I surprisingly did not burn, unlike when I went to King's Island water park with Crystal, Amos, and Yolanda, and I put on sunscreen twice and got one of the worst sunburns ever.

It was tough having to leave and go home. We live too far away from each other. I'm hoping one day that will change. Doug's more fortunate in this aspect. The majority of his family lives fifteen to twenty minutes away, including his mother. We're going to have to go back and visit soon, and if we can't get away during the warmer months, there's always October.

I think I've covered all of the events and happenings. A belated Happy Easter, a belated Happy Mother's Day, and a belated Happy Father's Day to my readers. Happy Fourth of July! Have a safe and happy holiday weekend.








Cheers...

Won't You Meet Me in September?

It's hard to believe that we are three days into September! I feel like it crept up on me before I had the chance to prepare myself. This month is going to be busy. Usually August is my busy month and I get some downtime in September. Not this year. I have a lot going on this coming weekend alone. I'm exhausted just thinking about the next four days. I'm going to be living on coffee to get by.

So far, it has rained every day this month. We will probably see more rain at some point today.

The weather the past three days.

Being a pluviophile, (a lover of rain for those who don't know) I normally enjoy a good rainy day. Lately, I feel like I've seen enough rain to last a few months. The city where I live has seen flash floods several times within the past two weeks. It will rain heavily, flood the downtown area and leave people stranded, trying to get home for hours, and then the rain will stop and the sun will dry everything up. *shrugs* Once was bad enough. Twice, it's getting old. Three times? We'll see. I'm just glad that my husband and I live on higher ground. We also live in an area where there are several roads we can take to keep us from the flooded areas. I would post pics of the flood, but I'm actually on my laptop, and the pics are on my Kindle, and it's easier to blog from my laptop.

September is usually one of my favourite months, because it's the precursor to Fall. I honestly believe that I suffer from Reverse Seasonal Affective Disorder. I get depressed and have very little energy, motivation, and drive during the warmer months. The hotter it gets, the less motivated and the more depressed I become, so in September, I start feeling hopeful and energetic again. I can feel myself becoming rejuvenated. September makes me feel like I am waking up and coming out of hibernation, or like a butterfly emerging from a cocoon and spreading its wings for the first time. 

This is an F. Scott Fitzgerald quote from The Great Gatsby.

I really can't wait!

I love EVERYTHING about Fall. The colourful leaves, the clear robin's egg blue skies, the warm days, the cold nights, and of course the Fall fashions. I especially love that Fall happens at the end of September, which makes it my second favourite month. October is my favourite month ever.

I'm so not a Summer girl. I'm not comfortable in skimpy clothing or swimwear. I'd take a comfy pair of jeans and a long sleeved tee over shorts and a tee shirt any day. The insects die. The pollinating allergy inducing plants die. The humidity dies. The heat dies. All of the bad things temporarily die, the same way I do during the warm months. (Apparently I thrive when surrounded by death. I'm not sure what that says about me.)

Unfortunately, my second favourite month this year is looking more stressful than fun, because for once in my life, September will be as busy as October normally is for me.

How I feel three days into the month...

I'm still battling insomnia, which isn't fun. When I do sleep, I don't get that wonderful, uninterrupted REM sleep. I feel like I'm running on empty right now.

How I feel every single day...

There are many things that I'm fairly sure contribute to my insomnia. 

There's the fact that I am a writer, and inspiration doesn't have a schedule, so I could be drifting off to sleep, and an idea hits me like an Acme anvil in the Road Runner cartoons, and I HAVE TO GET UP and write it down. Sometimes, I end up working, and then I see 5:00 AM on the clock and wonder where the time went. That's just how it is when I'm working. It really doesn't seem like I work thirteen hours per day, but because I enjoy my work, time goes by rather quickly.

There's the fact that I do have a chronic illness which can cause pain or many other symptoms that would interrupt sleep. I can't get comfortable due to pain, or I wake up in pain and have to change positions and it may take me a while to get back to sleep. Thankfully, it has been a long time since pain has kept me up, save for my recent migraine.

I do have an anxiety disorder, several actually. I have OCD, GAD, social anxiety and panic disorder (sort of). OCD is the worst of it. I will climb into bed and realize that my shoes are not properly put away, or that the cats might need food/water, or whatever reason my brain gets locked onto, and I have to go check these things. Panic disorder used to be my biggest problem. I'm so thankful that panic attacks are rare for me these days. They have to be triggered by something. which means there's a reason, Before, I would have panic attacks for absolutely no reason.

I'm releasing a book on October 31st. I think this is the biggest reason for my insomnia. I'm a nervous wreck. It's my first book. It's not my first published work though. I wrote articles for a national church newsletter very briefly. It was called The Cardinal. It has nothing to do with the Catholic church though. When people found out that I wrote for The Cardinal, they automatically assumed that I was Catholic. *shrugs* 

My dream is right there within reach. I'm afraid I'm going to fail miserably, and that everyone is going to do the "I Told You So" dance. I have written forty-one books, and the series is bloody good, and if I had a title for any of the forty books in the series, I would release one of them first. Dormiveglia is the one that I am releasing first for a myriad of reasons:

• It's a collection of short stories that showcase my work. 
• It's to get my name out there. 
• It will hopefully make a little money to devote to the series, hiring professionals, etc. 
• It's dedicated to my friend, Aimee Long.
• It's time to put something out there, just like Aimee said the last time I saw her.

I feel like I may have a nervy b before this is over with. I have less than two months to finalize the book, add the finishing touches, edit, re-edit, re-edit some more, obsessively edit for the final ten times, and put it out there. I need to get a cover done for the book so I can create a website. (I'm a writer, not an artist.) I want to have at least one book signing prior to its release. That's the other problem. *sighs* I know that I mentioned this before, but September is going to be as busy as October normally is for me.

That's all I want to do this month...

This weekend...I have no idea how I'm going to make it through. Tomorrow, I have an appointment and then there's a conference at church that begins tomorrow evening. Doug will probably have to work the screens for seven of the eight services, but I don't mind being up there during the conference. It keeps us away from the multitude in the sanctuary. We have one guy who is great about helping out when he can. His job hours are sporadic, where as Doug's hours are set, so Doug can almost always run the evening services on weekdays as needed. So it's basically two people. At the family reunion day at church last Sunday, tables were set up to recruit more help in the media department with the screens and lighting. I'm really hoping we have garnered some serious attention by those who signed up. I need to compose an advertisement to run on the screens, but alas, I'm too busy. (I would say that I burn the candle at both ends, but I honestly feel more like a three wick candle most of the time.)

I have to keep the car tomorrow for my appointment in the morning and on Friday to take my mnl to the first morning service of the conference. If she didn't want to go, I would probably skip Friday morning so I could have extra time to work on finalizing Dormiveglia. I forced myself to wake up at ten-thirty this morning clinging to fragile hope that I will be clapped out enough to sleep for more than four hours tonight. I'd kill for five hours. Six hours would be divine.

So yeah, I'm exhausted and I'm freaking out.

I'm freaking out a lot...

I keep reminding myself of what Charles Bukowski said:

Because Bukowski says that intelligent people are full of doubts and stupid people are filled with confidence, I must be intelligent. As much doubt as I'm experiencing, I must be super intelligent.

Next month is my Christmas time. I love Fall. I live for that season alone. I can't wait for everything that October has to offer.

Unfortunately, I will barely have time to catch my breath in October. 

October is normally busy for me and Doug. We go to two major Fall festivals, mostly pertaining to pumpkins. Then, there's Judgement House, which requires a huge amount of time. There are practices, set building, costumes, fine tuning, room directors having freak outs and meltdowns, and finally dress rehearsal. On the first night, there's usually drama. I won't get into the gory details, but I will say that we just can't seem to have Judgement House without the drama. That's just how it works. One or more people make a big scene and it has to be dealt with by security and/or authority. But again, that's how it works, and Judgement House goes on, and everything works out, and at the end of the week, you're exhausted and half out of it, but if you remember your name, you're still doing better than the ones who only answer to their character names. After playing a character for so long, you start to believe you're that person. (I've played an angel for the last seven years, but I still know for a fact that I'm no angel. *lol*)

This month...oh as if I need more reason to freak out...this month will be busy enough for TWO Octobers.

 

There is no maybe. I need time.

If only I could add more hours to the day and more days to the week...

I really don't know how I'm going to make it through October. Not only do we have the Fall festivals, which I live for all year long, and Judgement House, I'm releasing a book, and my mother is coming to visit. Please don't get me wrong, I CANNOT WAIT TO SEE MY MOTHER! I only see her once every few years. This year, I was privy to see her in July, but I still can't wait to see her again. She lives nine hours away, nine hours. That's too many for me! 

Doug and I are talking about moving closer to her in the near future. There's nothing for us here in this wasteland of a state. We would move closer to my brother and sister-in-law, but his job requires relocation, so we probably wouldn't live close to him for very long before he would have to move again. I live too far away from my family. Doug has had the privilege of having his family close by. They all live fifteen minutes away from our house, one aunt in one direction, and an aunt, an uncle, and his mother in the opposite direction.

So back to my mother's visit. My only problem with it is that October is ridiculously busy, but I'm taking full advantage of seeing her. Seeing her is one my top priorities in October, so I have rearranged my schedule. I'm missing book club this month. Doug and I are still going on our trip, but we're cutting some extras out this year. We will be going to the festival only on this trip, instead of gallivanting around the city and hitting the extremely huge, not so enclosed retail shopping compound. We may still go out to dinner at our usual favourite restaurant that does not exist in our city. I don't get people who go out of town and eat at the same restaurants they have at home. I like to try new things to an extent. I admit that I do not mess around with coffee, but if there were other coffee vendors besides Starbucks, I'm willing to try them. (Starbucks has killed all of the other coffee businesses in this area, and probably elsewhere as well.)

Somewhere in the middle of this chaos, I must find time for a book signing. My Saturdays are completely booked, except for the eleventh, so I'm hoping to be able to have a book signing on that Saturday. I'm not sure where. I'm not sure what time. I'm not sure who to call. I'm freaking out!

As for Judgement House, I do want to be a part of it. It's very important to me and to my husband. We may have to skip some practices. This is expected for the most part, as we usually miss one practice in order to take a day trip out of town to the second festival. I may be missing many more practices due to working and my mother's visit. I'm seriously considering going in as an alternate for JH instead of doing the full week. I'm also hoping to have the energy to do anything during JH week.

October 31st, Dormiveglia goes on Amazon. I hope I haven't had a nervy b by then.

Happy Belated Labor Day, by the way, to those who celebrate it.

My Labor Day wasn't extremely exciting. I slept way too late. I did get to see Crystal. She came to town very briefly, so on Labor Day, we met for coffee and talked. I went back to her brother's house to visit with them for about an hour, then I headed home to eat the best hot dogs in the world, because my husband makes them. He grills kosher dogs just for me so I can eat them. (Hot dogs are a huge migraine trigger, so I can only eat the kosher ones.) We sat out on the porch for a little while, and then went inside to watch shows on hulu plus. That's really all we did.

My mother's birthday was August 31st, so here are my favourite pics of me and her. I shared these pics of us on her birthday on the social networking sites that I frequent.

I have some recent pics, but I haven't downloaded them to my lappy yet.

There's nothing else to share. I whinged about how busy I'll be. I gushed about how I can't wait for Fall. I freaked out about publishing my book of short stories. Check, check, and check.

I should get back to work.

True story!

The last picture made me laugh until I cried, so I had to share it. It's true, and that's what makes it funny. I do want to note that I'm not a huge fan of Twilight, but I know enough about it to know why the scene used in this picture is funny. (On Vampires Suck, which I absolutely loved, they did this scene, and when he says, "Say it. Out loud. Say it," she responds with, "You're a Jonas Brother.")

I hope you're less stressed and less exhausted than I am. I must get back to work, although taking the day off and just breathing sounds like a better idea. I'm stressing so much that I may have forced myself to get up early for nothing, because I doubt I'm going to sleep any better tonight...although I did sleep last night. I don't remember seeing anything after three o'clock.

So, until next time, I'll be doing this:

AND...

I hope my husband believes this for the next two months:

Cheers!