November.

It's November. That slump between the gorgeous coloured leaves that adorn the trees and litter the ground, and the twinkling Christmas lights that adorn everything that doesn't move, and some things that do. Yes, November. Say hello to dead leaves, gray skies, and shorter days. The darkness has returned. Am I behaving atrociously? If so, I apologize. Today, all I can think about is the White Stripes song, Dead Leaves and the Dirty Ground mostly because of the title. The song itself makes absolutely no sense to me. Still, the title is an accurate picture of November.

Gray skies, dreary days...

Dried brown leaves...

Dead leaves and the dirty ground.

So yeah, that's November.

My perception of November is different considering that I lost two people last year. I always felt like November was the darkest part of Fall. The leaves were usually gone, and what leaves remained on the trees were not as vibrant. It was the less beautiful part of Fall for me, the slump between October and December. Now I find it the ugliest, darkest part of Fall.

Fall is usually my favourite time of year, but this year has been disappointing. It rained during 90% of Fall. The nicer days that I could have enjoyed were sacrificed for Judgement House, which I still think was totally worth it. I didn't get to experience the nicer days. My Fall was spent staring out of a window.

Ebola arrived to the states at the beginning of Fall. (The jury is still out on whether or not Thomas Eric Duncan withheld information or blatantly lied during his first emergency room visit. Some news sources say he did, some say he didn't.) A disease that is supposedly unable to spread unless you're in contact with the infected person's bodily fluids began to spread in Texas. I still don't understand how safe the general public can possibly be if doctors and nurses in HAZMAT suits can still contract Ebola. Stupidity abounded when Amber Vinson selfishly boarded a flight to plan her wedding, as well as several flights after. More stupidity arose when Dr. Craig Spencer decided to have a night on the town just hours before he became symptomatic. (I'm beginning to think some of the symptoms of Ebola include urgent desire to travel to crowded places, urgent need to board an airplane, selfishness, and making poor or stupid decisions.) Then there's that Hickox woman who refuses to undergo minimal quarantine measures and self-monitoring. The media continues to glorify her insipid acts. Still no real response or solution from the Obama Administration. That's a big surprise. (That was sarcasm in case you are wondering.)

So yeah, Fall was a complete downer this year. I'm bummed. I'm beginning to hate every season, with Summer still being my #1 most hated season. Winter still has a chance though. We'll see how that goes.

As if this Fall weren't bad enough, today is Election Day.

This is also sarcasm.

If you can't tell, I'm beyond the valley of thrilled! (Even more sarcasm.) 

I'm sure some of you may want to just go ahead and stop reading. You may feel like you've been tricked. The title may seem misleading, but I can assure you, it's not. November = elections during some of the even numbered years. You didn't really think I was going to dedicate an entire post to November, did you? It's not even my favourite month.

Why am I lacking excitement about Election Day? There are many reasons. I'm not sure which reason I should share first, but I will save the big one for last.

This year, the social networking sites have been overrun with politics, especially the end of last month and the beginning of this month. There are ads asking you to click if you plan to vote or if you have voted. It seems like the government is campaigning to get voters to the polls. My question is why. Why the sudden need to know whether or not we are voting? I've even heard that the people who don't vote will have their names published. Is this legal?

Why does the government or even Facebook want to know if I'm voting or if I have voted? Why the sudden interest? Correct me if I'm wrong, but I don't think whether or not I vote is actually anyone's business. I'm not trying to be rude, I'm just being honest.

Why do I lack excitement about Election Day? Because my vote in the 2012 Presidential Election did not count. How do I know this? There were illegal votes in Hamilton County, Ohio that were never dealt with or even mentioned again. No, I am not one of those people who make claims that the election was rigged. I just think more dead people voted in 2012 than in any other election.

Walkers heading to the polls in 2012.

Does my vote count? Does your vote count for that matter? I think these are fair questions. 

I somehow doubt that...

I don't feel like my vote counts. I feel rather ambivalent about voting these days. I'm just wondering if I should waste my time going to the polls to be completely honest.

I'd vote for him. At least he's honest.

Some of my female readers are probably freaking out right now. "OMG, SHE DOESN'T CARE ABOUT VOTING! WOMEN DIED FOR HER RIGHT TO VOTE! SHE NEEDS TO GET OVER HERSELF, BELT UP, AND GO TO THE POLLS!" Women did suffer and die for my right to vote. It's true.

And their efforts paid off.

Women were only meant to be seen and not heard in historical times, even as far back as biblical times. Because of this, I am beyond thankful for the suffragettes who endured horrible torture and death in order for me to have the right to vote today. I don't take that right for granted. 

In Corinthians, there is a scripture that says, and I'm paraphrasing, "a woman should be silent in church". There was a reason behind that scripture, but churches take it and use it today and base their entire leadership system on scriptures such as this one. I attended a church long before I ever set foot in the doors of the wonderful church I attend now, where the women were not allowed to make decisions, become pastors, or even flick a light switch without a man giving them permission. There are still men out there today who feel this way about women. I'm not a man hater. I don't agree with chauvinism, but I also understand that not every man had a father who respected women. So I'm all for women having the right to vote, and I agree with certain women's rights, but not all of them. I like having a gentleman for a husband who opens doors for me. It's nice. I know that not every woman has that privilege, but I do.

I remember when Doug first opened a door for me, I looked at him perplexed and said, "My arms aren't broken." Now I've gotten so used to it that if I'm with someone, I stop in front of the door instinctively without even thinking about it before I realize my husband isn't the one with me. Because of Doug, I'm a little more traditional and dare I say a little more feminine. He made me feel beautiful. He made me feel valued. He made me feel like the scripture that says a woman is a prize to be won, as well as the scripture from Proverbs 31 that says, and again I'm paraphrasing, her value is worth more than rubies.

The problem is ever since the 2012 election, I have become quite ambivalent when it comes to politics and to voting. I just don't think my vote counts. I think the states are more of a monarchy. There are two royal families from which to choose, King Democrat and King Republican. You can vote for King Lesser Political Party, but they're not going to win. King Lesser Political Party doesn't even stand a chance. No matter who you vote for, either King Democrat and his family will move into the white palace, or King Republican and his family will move into the white palace. These two kingdoms have been at war for years, and they continue to use issues that are quite petty in the grand scheme of things to sway voters, and you never hear about some of the issues after the election ever again. This war between the two kingdoms is just getting old, and I've become ambivalent, and I'm honestly over it. My hope for this country is gone. It may never return again.

I can see the truth in this. Some people are just less polite when engaging in debates than others.

I composed and shared a post on the night of the 2012 election titled, This is Ponderous. I laid out my concerns, and I was accused of being a racist, because I apparently did not like Obama due to the colour of his skin. (I didn't even know I was a racist. That was news to me.) I was accused of being an elitist snob who hated the poor. (Last time I checked, I wasn't wealthy.) *shrugs* I got threatened, I had profane words sent to me, and this was all because I shared my opinion and my concerns about my goals and what socialism would do to my dreams of becoming an author and to this country. I got such a horrible response, so I took that post down. I'm not sure if I will ever put it back up, maybe not on this blog, but perhaps elsewhere.

Does my vote count? Does your vote count? Again, these are fair questions.

I'm in a lousy mood. I'm ambivalent. On top of that, I think I'm getting a cold. Fun times!

Notice the made in Portugal sign on the right.

Voting should feel good. Voters should feel like they're making a difference when they cast their ballots. Voters should not feel like they're wasting their time. I feel like my time and attention could better be devoted to something else. Is it sad that I feel this way? I think so. I just remember a time when I could be proud of the states and for which they stand.

Will I exercise my right to vote today? I'm 90% certain that I will. I'm also 100% certain that my vote won't count.

Let this statement sink in for a little while.

Cheers...