Wednesday, December 24, 2014

The Holidays.

Holiday. Celebrate. Holiday. Celebrate.

If we took a holiday, took some time to celebrate, just one day out of life, it would be, it would be so nice. Everybody spread the word. I live in my sister's basement.

That's not the holiday I was talking about, but still...

It's Christmas Eve. How the heck did we get here so quickly? What happened to the year?

I'm excited for Christmas, but I also can't wait for the holidays to be over. The commercials are infuriating. The K-Mart commercial with the pregnant women dancing disturbs me. I have no idea why, other than the thought of seeing someone's water break.

So I've been sick...AGAIN. My wonderful husband was kind enough to bring home the germs this time, which meant I was actually not to blame!

True story...

Doug came home with a stuffy head on a Wednesday. And the same thing happens every time he gets sick. He insists he's fine, just "sneezy and sniffly" is all. I believed him and we moved on. 

Wednesday night, I had a battle with insomnia. I did not sleep but maybe an entire hour.

Thursday: Husband went to work. He was still having a stuffy head and the sniffles when he came home. I was exhausted and tried so hard to go to sleep, but I got another whole hour of sleep, and I had to be up at 7:30 AM because one of my closest mates and I were going for coffee and shopping!

Friday: Husband went to work. I attempted to get up at 7:30 AM, but ended up sleeping until 8:30 AM. I dove out of bed, grabbed coffee, jumped in the shower, and I was throwing on makeup when my mate arrived. I gave out her Christmas gifts, finished getting ready, and we headed to the mall. At this point, I had no idea how I was functioning.

My mate and I had the best time. I found a few sales and took advantage of them. Then she brought me home. It was around 1:30 PM when I got back. I felt like if I went to sleep then, I'd never sleep that night. So I stupidly decided since I was too exhausted to work on my book series, I would get caught up on the housework that seems to get neglected due to my workaholic nature. I folded and put away clean laundry, and I ran the sweeper, and I was feeling quite proud of myself. I sat down and had a Coca~Cola. At this point, I felt like I needed to lie down. I was dizzy and weak. I climbed into bed. I laid there, but I couldn't sleep again!

My husband arrived home. He was still having what I now knew were cold symptoms. He was concerned about me, so he changed clothes and climbed into bed next to me. He hoped to lull me to sleep by holding me, which usually works. 

The only thing that happened was he fell asleep and I was lying there watching him sleep and wishing I could join him. At this point, I had a grand total of three hours of sleep in two nights.

So I gave up my quest for sleep and went to watch television. I really wanted to work, but I did not have the mental capacity to do so. I think I watched eight consecutive hours of Cutthroat Kitchen, but I could have hallucinated that. Maybe it was four. Maybe I dreamed it.

Saturday: My husband slept until 5:00 AM on Saturday morning. I had slept maybe an hour. His illness was progressing. He sounded even more stuffed up and had developed a cough. 

I woke up the same time he did. Within a few hours of waking up, I developed a stuffy head and I began to lose my voice. I caught this illness in RECORD TIME! 

I had four hours of sleep in three nights. I worked around the house in an attempt to cause myself to collapse into bed at an early hour and actually sleep. I walked around the mall with my best mate for several hours. And an hour before my symptoms began, so did Shark Week! (If you can't figure out what that means, too bad! I'm not going to explain it to you.) Lack of sleep and Shark Week can kill your immune system. I probably had no immune system at this point! So the picture below is how we spent our Saturday.

Saturday night, Doug had to do the screens for Todd White. We were both too sick to go, but he had no one to fill in for him, so he at least got to see that one service. I was not only sick, but also disappointed, because I LOVE Union, and I wanted to see them perform. I didn't get to go thanks to getting sick AGAIN!

Sunday: I woke up at 1:00 PM after how many hours of sleep? 
  1. One
  2. Two
  3. Three
  4. Four
  5. Other

If you chose one, you were wrong. It was one and a half! Hoping to totally destroy myself, because I had a death wish, I cleaned the house AGAIN! If this didn't drive me to the point of falling asleep standing up, I didn't know what would. I was sick. I was beyond the valley of exhausted and delusional. I was the walking dead, only I didn't want brains, I WANTED SLEEP!

I spent Sunday in tears most of the day.

The husband woke up around 4:30 PM. He coughed almost nonstop for the first two hours he was awake. I was shuffling around moaning and trying to take care of him.

By Sunday evening, I was so out of it, I didn't know what was going on. I think after battling insomnia, exhaustion, Shark Week, and an illness, you go through some odd stages. Here are the stages I went through:

The second stage is brutal, but delirium sets in, so it doesn't feel as bad.


And despite feeling like I was going to pass out and not knowing what my name was for a little while. I took care of my husband LIKE A BOSS! And I was so angry that I got sick AGAIN, because once again...

I had to cancel plans.

I couldn't work.

I couldn't breathe.

I couldn't stop sneezing...

Or coughing.

I ran a fever off and on.

I couldn't get out of bed.

And I couldn't get the medicine out of the package!

I still haven't found a plastic bubble, but when I do, I'm taking up residence in it and hoping that I don't get sick again! I'm probably asking for too much. *shrugs*

Doug had to take two days off work. Luckily he had two sick days. He saw the doctor and found out he had a sinus infection. He got some antibiotics and steroids and he's 95% better now. I'm still feeling weak and fatigued from everything I've been through, and what's worse is that next month, I may go through another insomnia battle. I'm not looking forward to that.

So Christmas is coming...

Despite my cynical nature, I'm excited about it. I feel totally unprepared through, since I've been out of commission. I did manage to get Doug two gifts, and I'm stuffing his stocking with cash. He's difficult to shop for. People think I'm expensive, but I'm not nearly as expensive as Doug when it comes to things I want. Everything my husband wants is expensive. He has to have the latest high tech gadget, like a watch that you can make calls on, and it tells the weather for the next ten years, predicts your future, and can control every electronic device that you own, as well as pick up the laundry and take out the garbage. (I'm exaggerating a bit, but you get the idea. If it really did all of those things, I would purchase one for him.) 

I don't have to have the latest in electronics. I told Doug I needed a new Kindle for my birthday, because ANDROID SUCKS! I informed him that I will take the same model I currently have. Doug's response was, "Why?" I explained to him that I liked the model I had, despite the fact that it's a piece of crap Android device, and that it would save money. He still insists that I should have the newer model. 

I don't understand boys sometimes, even though I've always had more guy friends than female friends. The thing that irks me about boys is that they're messy, and all they seem to want to talk about is POLITICAL STUFF! I DON'T LIKE THAT! I don't need reminded about the sorry state our country is in (especially during what's supposed to be a wonderful time of year) because of the dictator that is in office, and I honestly have no hope that the next guy, or girl, will be able to fix anything! And that is why I have researched and made my decision, You may not agree, but I don't really care. In 2016, I am voting for this guy;

Admiral General Afas Aladeen. He is a dictator, and he's not a very good liar, unlike the dictator we already have in office. He also goes by the following names; Allison Burgers, Ladees Washaroom, Ameer Gencyexitonly, and Emplaise Mustwashhands. If we have to have another dictator in the White House, my money is on this guy. He'd be great for the job. He was unable to carry out his 911 2012 plan, but what politician hasn't broken a promise? ("Read my lips, no new taxes" ring a bell?) I'll start making my campaign signs in November of next year.

Speaking of next year, it's just around the corner!

Where did the year go? Didn't 2014 just begin? Time flies, whether or not you're having fun.

It looks like we're going to have a very rainy Christmas and a crappy New Year. I'm normally a pluviophile, but it has rained nearly everyday since October! IT'S GETTING OLD!

So my Christmas will probably look like this:

Just kidding. I won't be able to relax.

I really wanted a white Christmas...

It's supposed to snow on Christmas Day, but Christmas Eve will be 70 and rainy! WHERE THE HECK IS WINTER?!?

I know I've complained a lot, and hopefully evoked some laughter in the process, and I apologize. It's the holiday season, and instead of complaining, I should be sharing what I'm thankful for, or perhaps my New Year's resolutions. I don't know. I don't have any new year's resolutions.

I don't know what 2015 holds, but I do know I have a choice about my attitude toward it.

It's totally up to me, and it's up to you. You can choose A or B. (Ah, should have gone with A...)

Whatever the case, and despite all of my whinging and waffling about everything, I really do wish all of the best to you and yours for this holiday season. So I will leave you with a few gifs to put you in the holiday mood.

This made me giggle!

Happy Christmas, everyone, and the most spectacular New Year possible! I'll see you in 2015!