I had my first real migraine in a while, and it did not disappoint.
That's exactly how I feel right now.
Last night, I was just lying on the couch, watching the Simpson's marathon...
...playing with the idea of working, and just generally minding my own business when it hit me.
Then the visual disturbances arrived.
This is seriously what it looks like through my eyes during a migraine.
I knew I was in for a long night.
Doug was upset, because he had to go to bed, but he wanted to stay up and take care of me. He kept telling me to wake him if I needed him. I figured I could lie around, drooling on myself, having seizure-like and stroke-like activity (I have hemiplegic migraines which often mimic a stroke), and crying without an audience.
I ended up lying on the couch, alternating between sleeping, crying, and watching what seems like the never ending Simpson's marathon on FXX. (Why are there two x's?) Then, my migraine moved on to the headache phase.
This went on for several hours.
Sometime after five, I decided to crawl from the couch to the bed.
That's honestly about as far as I made it on the first try.
Doug woke up and asked me if I was okay. I insisted that I was fine just so he'd go back to sleep.
He hugged me and went back to sleep. I made sure my alarm was set so I could make sure he was awake and getting ready. (I wasn't kidding when I said he could sleep through a nuclear war.) I don't think I woke up, and if he roused me to ask me how I was, I probably responded with something like this:
I took some more pain meds. Things were a blur from there. I vaguely remember The Cleveland Show on Adult Swim, and I think I may have heard the intro to King of the Hill.
The above gif is how I felt while lying down. No matter what position I tried, I felt dizzy and like I was floating when I shut my eyes.
Then I fell into a deep and not so dreamless sleep.
I had to go to the loo...
where I was attacked by sunlight pouring through the bathroom window.
I'm so glad it's dark in my bedroom.
I forced myself to crawl to the kitchen and somehow managed to prepare a cup of coffee. (Thank God for whoever invented the Keurig.)
The coffee offered a little relief, but it also woke me up enough to allow me to realize that I am in the postdrome phase. During the postdrome phase, some people experience euphoria. I wish I were one of them, but I experience the sadness of having a setback.
So instead of lying in my bed, crying over the fact that I've just endured a bad migraine for the first time in weeks, I decided focus what little energy I had on this blog post, with the hopes of making my readers laugh. It took me several trips, but I got my laptop, and a pair of sunglasses, and crawled into bed. I turned down the brightness on my computer, because even with my sunglasses on, it's too bright, and I giggled as I looked through the pictures and gifs I had that I could use in this post.
Don't let the blog post fool you though.
For, me, it's mostly the die aspect. I rarely have nausea/vomiting with my migraines. It just seemed like an appropriate gif to share since most migraine sufferers do have those symptoms with their migraines.
People always try to offer helpful advice, but I've heard it all.
- Drink more water. (Tried that. No effect whatsoever.)
- Drink less caffeine. (I cut back to one cup of coffee and two sodas per day.)
- Get more sleep. (It's not like I don't try.)
- Get less sleep. (How can I get less sleep when I bloody have insomnia?!?)
- Avoid food triggers. (Good luck with that.)
- Avoid stress. (Giggles hysterically and uncontrollably.)
And the list of not so helpful advice goes on. Then, there are the naysayers who have never really and actually experienced a migraine or chronic pain of any kind, so they have the audacity to say things that make me feel like punching them dead in the face.
As a matter of fact, here is a handy list of what NOT to say to someone with chronic migraines or any other chronic illness.
Most of these make me want to smash things.
I have improved slightly since last night, but not enough.
Here are two pain charts that accurately describe migraines. They also made me giggle.
Here's what they chart above says:
0. Fine. What is a headache?
1. Wait...It's coming...
2. This sucks.
3. Ow ow ow ow OW
4. Blaargh! $#@?! This hurts!
5. Was there a time before pain and will a power drill make it better?
6. Am I dying? I think this is what dying feels like.
Number 7 is my favourite!
Number 10 made me laugh so hard it hurt.
Doug is on his way home to fuss over me.
I'm totally making him sing it, too!
Until he gets here, I will do my best to entertain myself while listening to Gadi Mizrahi. (His music sounds like the series of noises that one would hear during an MRI, and I find it oddly comforting during the postdrome phase, but during a real MRI, I'm having a full on panic attack.) I will try not to focus on the lack of euphoria that I get to experience.
So until next time, please say some prayers for me.