OCD.

This is a perfect picture of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder and what it does to a person. Now I make fun of myself and my OCD. I do. And that's okay. I"m just being honest. What really gets on my nerves though is when someone says they're so OCD and is referring to being well organized. It's not just about that, it's a sick and sadistic need to be organized, or something bad may happen to you or a loved one! It's bloody torture! It can eat at you and eat at you all the livelong ruddy day! You can't relax. You can't break free from your routine. You're stuck, knowing that you can't go to bed or leave the house unless your shoes are put away, or you've checked every single knob on the stove, and you've walked an even number of steps, flicked the light switch a certain number of times, or washed your hands properly. And it's not even about that. It's about the vicious cycles of thought patterns and processes that are the worst, the voices that tell you you're not good enough, you're not perfect enough, you never do anything correctly, you've slacked off, you've gained too much weight, and so many other unwanted messages being sent to your amygdala (the part of the brain that examines and processes fear). The amygdala processes those thoughts as real fears, rather than temporary emotions, which stem from the conscious mind. That's OCD, plain and simple. But, let's look at it from a medical standpoint. (I know, I sort of went there already.)


You can read more about it here. 

Obsessive-compulsive disorder

Obsessive-compulsive neurosis; OCD

Obsessive-compulsive disorder is an anxiety disorder in which people have unwanted and repeated thoughts, feelings, ideas, sensations (obsessions), or behaviors that make them feel driven to do something (compulsions).

Often the person carries out the behaviors to get rid of the obsessive thoughts, but this only provides temporary relief. Not performing the obsessive rituals can cause great anxiety.

Causes, incidence, and risk factors

Obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) is more common than was once thought. Most people who develop it show symptoms by age 30. ***I was showing symptoms since the age of three.***

There are several theories about the cause of OCD, but none have been confirmed. Some reports have linked OCD to head injury and infections. Several studies have shown that there are brain abnormalities in patients with OCD, but more research is needed.

About 20% of people with OCD have tics, which suggests the condition may be related to Tourette syndrome. However, this link is not clear.

Symptoms

• Obsessions or compulsions that are not due to medical illness or drug use
• Obsessions or compulsions that cause major distress or interfere with everyday life

There are many types of obsessions and compulsions. One example is an excessive fear of germs and the compulsion to repeatedly wash the hands to ward off infection.

The person usually recognizes that the behavior is excessive or unreasonable.

Signs and tests

Your own description of the behavior can help diagnose the disorder. A physical exam can rule out physical causes, and a psychiatric evaluation can rule out other mental disorders.

Questionnaires, such as the Yale-Brown Obsessive Compulsive Scale (YBOCS), can help diagnose OCD and track the progress of treatment.

Treatment

OCD is treated using medications and therapy.

Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) has been shown to be the most effective type of psychotherapy for this disorder. The patient is exposed many times to a situation that triggers the obsessive thoughts, and learns gradually to tolerate the anxiety and resist the urge to perform the compulsion. Medication and CBT together are considered to be better than either treatment alone at reducing symptoms.

Psychotherapy can also be used to:

• Provide effective ways of reducing stress
• Reduce anxiety
• Resolve inner conflicts
  
  
  
  

April Has Arrived...

April arrived yesterday, with a bang for me, anyway. I'm still recovering from my migraine. I'm doing a little better, just exhausted. And I have good reason. This first two weeks of April are just jam packed full of events.

The first thing that happens for me this week is my birthday! 



And since I'm getting older, I have a feeling we're going to need the fire department on hand. *lol* For those of you are wanting to know how old I am, I am going to be nice and tell you. I'm 29 for the 6th time. It's up to you to do the math.

I was born on a Tuesday. My mother says I was due on April 12th, which was also a Tuesday, but she jokingly announced that I would be arriving on the fifth, and was accused of doing something to force herself to go into labor. April 5th was also her father's birthday. He had died several years prior in a tragic work accident. I was also born on my mom's neighbor's birthday. The neighbor was like a grandmother to my mother. Her name was Kate Leffingwell. She was a very nice lady. She left us in August of 1995.

People always talk about birthday wishes, what they want for their birthdays every year. I have so many things going on that I'm not certain what to wish for, not that making a wish while blowing out the candles has some magical power. I don't know. First and foremost, I want a healthy, happy year. The biggest project I'm working on is my book series. My goal is October of 2013 to have the first book ready. I've decided to be mean and do the prequel last, like V. C. Andrews did with the Flowers in the Attic series.



But in order for my dreams to come true, I have to get out of bed. *smile* I am exhausted! But, the sooner I recover from this migraine, the better, so I can resume working on my book!

The next big event is Easter!



I thought this picture was lovely! I love to make centerpieces like the one above! Doug and I don't do anything special for Easter, really. We color eggs. I know, pathetic for a couple who has no children, thus no excuse to color eggs, but it's fun. I get real creative with it and draw designs on the eggs and write messages to my husband. It's fun. It's tradition for us.

And of course, we go to church for Easter, but not just on Easter Sunday. I sort of have a dress. I hate dresses, but I usually wear one on Easter Sunday. This year's number is a little black dress, simple, tasteful, elegant. I may wear a string of pearls to class it up a bit. Black and Gray are my favorite colors.



Spring is beautiful. I love seeing the kids enjoy it for sure. Easter egg hunts are so fun. My mother has a picture of me that was in the paper, where I'm probably just around one, maybe two, depending on when Easter was that year, and I'm wearing a little white dress and matching bonnet, carefully navigating my way through some tulips. I have the article in my baby book. I assume I was on an Easter Egg Hunt. I'll have to scan it, but it's a black and white picture. Not as pretty as the thought of a toddler walking through colorful tulips may sound.



Just one time, Easter has fallen on my birthday. I thought that was so cool when I was little. I was still a little tomboy, but I was so excited that when my mother took me shopping that I selected a pink and white dress with a matching hat because Easter and my birthday were the same day! I loved that dress.



This picture sort of shows some the designs I draw on the eggs prior to coloring them, but for the life of me, I've never seen black egg dye. Black and white together are so elegant.



And, finally, our last big event for the first two weeks of April is Friday the 13th!



Many of you are wondering why I would celebrate such a thing. It's just another day that happens to be labeled as bad. Doug and I had our first date on Friday, August 13th, 1999. So every time a Friday the 13th rolls around, we go out, just because our first date was on a Friday the 13th. We still celebrate on August 13th, if it occurs on a Friday or not. And no, we don't watch Friday the 13th with Jason on it. I tried to watch those movies when I was a teenager, and I was bored out of my mind! *lol* My mother said Salem's Lot would change my life. I slept through it when I was a teenager, then again when I was an adult. But The Exorcist really scared her. It wasn't the scariest movie I have ever seen, but I can see why it upset her so.



A month that begins on a Sunday will always have a Friday the 13th. Since we have one this month, we will also have another in July. Seriously, it's just another day. Jason does not live. Black cats are just that, cats that have black fur! I used to have several black cats that were so sweet. Walking under ladders and breaking mirror are dangerous, and common sense says you shouldn't walk under a ladder or mishandle glass! Thirteen is my favorite number because that was the day I had my first date with Doug. It's just another number, more or less. Maybe not to him or me, but it is.

That's about it for now. I need to give my right arm/hand a break. I'm going to find a snack and relax.



Have a great day!

What Everyone Thinks I Do vs What I Really Do.

You've probably been seeing posters like this one...

I think most of them are hilarious, but there's no proper poster that explains the life of a writer, fictional or otherwise. I am inspired, and I thought I would put one together for your viewing pleasure. Here we go...

WRITER

What my friends think I do:

What my mom thinks I do:

What society thinks I do:

What my husband thinks I do:

What I think I do:

What I really do:

To all of you writers/bloggers out there,

Hope you enjoyed this!

Check out this post from another writer, explaining what writers really do.

Fall Is Officially Over...

I have a Judgment House Hangover today. This usually occurs after doing six nights of Judgment House. Symptoms consist of extreme exhaustion, sadness, unusual sleep patterns, missing old and new friends, and weight gain because the guy that plays the devil is a chef! (Not to mention he likes to make desserts.) So I'm there. I'm sad. Don't get me wrong, I love Winter, but I'm at the slump between Fall and Winter where there's really nothing to do. Once Thanksgiving arrives, things will pick up. Although with our financial situation, I doubt we will have a Thanksgiving, and I'm certain we won't have Christmas this year either. Christmas really is more for children, but I can't help but feel sad about the certainty that is poverty. *sighs* Anyway, the Fall decorations are still up, so I'll be enjoying them until the day after Thanksgiving.

I'm still not feeling 100%. I'm on week five of coughing, sneezing, aching, etc. I haven't had a fever since the third week, which is good. I just wish I could get completely better! The worst part is that my cough hasn't improved very much. My eyes have been burning severely (probably from lack of sleep) and my nose is red and sore from constant tissue usage. (I've plowed through two big boxes and I need to get another box. I just wish this illness were over with already!

My house is a wreck and I don't feel like cleaning it. I think I've gone mad. All I want to do is escape to my lovely world of writing. I LOVE WRITING! I live vicariously through my characters. I often daydream about the world they live in and what they will do next. I get to do things in my book that I can't do in real life, like raising children. I can be anything I want to be, even a hyperpolyglot. There are times when I can't wait to get home to write my thoughts and ideas about the characters down. I'll be at work or at church daydreaming about what the characters were getting into. It's strange. It poses some inquiries about myself, my life. Ready for the big question?

Is my life that bad or am I that creative? I think it's a valid question. Any answers would be quite helpful.

That's enough whinging for now. So many lives were changed and souls were saved during Judgment House this year. Even though I'm quite exhausted, I could have went on a few more days.

So, let's put an end to the beauty that Fall is by looking at some lovely pics. There is one thing about winter that I'm looking forward to...making homemade chex mix and cookies!

Fall Snow...

Beautiful crimson corridors beckon me

Amber fields wave to me gently

Mourning doves sigh, fall is here

And winter is on its way.

I'll miss the leaves crunching under my feet...

Fog in the Fall is beautiful!

Harvest Moon...

Love among the leaves...

October, October,

March to the dull and sober!

The suns of may for the school girls play,

But give to the boys October!

October, October!

Have a great evening!