Monday, July 11, 2011

Pet Peeves...

It's that lovely time of day, week, month or however long it's been since my last rant, to rant again. Today, I'm going to talk about pet peeves. I could write for five straight hours about the things that bug me, but I promise, I'll stick to just one thing. Today, that thing is Facebook.

Let's talk about the benefits of Facebook, shall we?

For me, Facebook helps me keep connected to my scattered abroad family. (Doug's maternal side of the family all live fifteen minutes away from us in Barboursville or Kenova. His dad's side, D.C. & California. The point is, he has family close by. I have one aunt, several cousins, and one uncle, and the closest they live is an hour and fifteen minutes away.) So thanks to Facebook, I can keep in contact with my family on a daily basis. I can also keep in contact with my friends who live far away as well.

Facebook is convenient. If I have news (good or bad) I can share it. Easiest way to tell someone you got a promotion, plan for your baby shower, bridal shower, birthday parties, get togethers, or church/work events. I can also complain and people will pray for me. It doesn't get any better than that.

Speaking of birthdays, promotions, graduations, weddings, anniversaries, and babies (pregnancy, birth, adoption), no more sending pesky cards! You can congratulate and wish someone a Happy Birthday/Christmas/New Year/Valentine's/St. Patrick's/Easter/Memorial Day/Fourth of July/Labor Day/Halloween/Thanksgiving, you get the idea. You don't have to go shopping and force your way through the greeting card aisle (which tends to make me a bit stroppy because I hate shopping!) or go to the post office and pay for postage, when you can just post it on someone's wall. Nice. Perfect for those who lead a busy life, with time rapidly disappearing...

Some of the Facebook apps & games are actually fun. If I'm bored, (like that ever happens), I can play a game. Forget paper dolls, I have Mall World. And since my OCD and anxiety disorder are too severe for me to be a doctor, Simply Hospital helps me out a bit, although real diseases would make it more realistic. I can't say I've ever had to have my head replaced because it's turned into a light bulb.

Now, it's time for the rant. For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction. So, let's explore the disadvantages of Facebook.

Overused status messages:
"I am a blessed woman." Yes, we're aware of that, but do you have to repeat it every single time you post a status message? Don't get me wrong, I'm glad you're blessed. I'm just tired of seeing it after every status message, especially when you put something like; "I'm sick of your drama, and you know who you are. Stop harassing me! I am a blessed woman!" See how that looks? Stupid, that's how...

"Loving my life as a mommy and wife!" (This statement is usually surrounded by hearts.) Seriously? A little poem at the end of the status message? And you know who puts these things on their status messages, don't you? A young mother with two children in a dysfunctional family. I worked with a so called man, who shall remain nameless, that was a total jerk to everyone around him. I mean king of the jerks with the filthiest mouth I've ever heard. I used to have his wife on my friend's list. That stupid little poem was at the end of her status messages. I know that can't be true, because he's a jerk. I've experienced it for myself.

As if that isn't bad enough, I also have a relative who puts the same thing at the end of her status messages. This same relative takes other relatives aside and talks about how mean her husband is to her, how hard it is to raise the children, and she puts this horrible poetic phrase at the end of her status messages! Makes me want to vom! Don't get me wrong, we all wear our masks. Some of us just glue ours tighter to our faces than others. My life isn't perfect. I have good and bad days. I don't always post them on Facebook, but when I do post the good days, I try not to make it sound as cheeky as this, for lack of a better word, crap.

"I Love my bf/gf!" My favorite is when they use the bf/gf's name repeatedly. For example: Joey this and Joey that, Joey cooked me dinner, my parents think Joey is great, I think Joey is great, Joey's so handsome, I'm worried about Joey, I'm lost without Joey, I wish Joey were here, I love how Joey makes the sun rise every morning. Those are the kind of people I want to punch dead in the face...especially when it's your best friend, because now I'm chopped liver. I have to beg for girl time, oh and my favorite part is that he comes by the house every single time my best friend actually comes over for girl time, and it turns into, Joey* time. *Not his real name. Yes, I'm being honest. I won't apologize for it. If I did that stuff to her, I wouldn't hear the end of it. I can only pray for the day that Joey becomes old news to her, and I actually get my friend back...and that's a bit personal, but I digress.

Facebook Malfunctions:
You try so hard to post something, and it either doesn't post, or it will post five times. I hate odd numbers... So then you try to delete it, and it either doesn't delete, or it shows at odd times. Again, I HATE odd numbers. I've got it out of my system now. Oh, and the games and apps are almost always down for maintenance. The beauty of that is when the games and apps are up and running again, they still do not work properly. I don't know...maybe they have a different idea of what maintenance means. Perhaps they want to maintain the issues. Who knows? I sure as heck don't. And let's not forget, trying to "like" someone's post/page/event. That usually fails to work.

And my favorite, being unable to get to older posts. I get on Facebook for maybe 20 to 40 minutes per day. I read as far as the older posts will allow me. I was getting ready for church, and my mom commented on my status. "Lucky You," she said. So I asked her what's going on. Later that night, I am informed by my brother that she has a broken foot. He said, "SERIOUSLY?!? SHE BROKE HER FOOT! YOU SHOULD HAVE SEEN THE POSTS AND THE PICTURES AS MUCH AS YOU'RE ON HERE!!!!" Naturally, it hurt my feelings, so I yelled back, which wasn't fair, but it was on the sixteenth anniversary of my father's death. He caught me at a bad time. Then my aunt stuck her nose in where it didn't belong, so I deleted and blocked her. (I've had problems like that with her before.) So Facebook is unreliable when your mom has an accident and breaks her foot, and you should have seen it on Facebook, but didn't because of Facebook malfunctions. Almost forgot to mention, no telephone calls, text messages or email about the broken foot ever arrived. So yeah, the way I received the news was not brilliant, really.

So yeah, that's it, me in a nutshell. HELP, HELP! I'M TRAPPED IN THIS NUTSHELL, AND I'M ALLERGIC TO WALNUTS!!!! Fun times and Family Drama. Kind of like "Good Times and Noodle Salad." I'm done ranting for the evening, unless something else ticks me off...

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